Didn’t someone once say that variety is the spice of life? Well the same can be said for almost anything. Take California for example. One day you can find yourself lost in dense forests of rich green trees yet there are parts that are near desert in climate while the Bay Area is home to mild weather and cool breezes. Or how about the Jonas brothers? How Nick turned out so epically hot while the other two are warm at best (my opinion, of course) is one of life’s greatest mysteries. All of this boils down to diversity. But what about weight?
I think people who are overweight all get lumped into a category together. The stigma is that we are all lazy, insecure, unmotivated losers with no self control. Honestly, the most lazy, insecure, unmotivated losers with no self control that I’ve ever met just so happened to appear physically fit–no shade, just the honest truth.
Disclaimer: if the words overweight, fat, heavy, full-figured, or anything along those lines offend you, please do not continue reading.
So what does it mean to be overweight?
-You have an extra jiggle to your wiggle.
When you walk, or skip or run or whatever it is that you do, you can feel your body moving. And it may or may not be moving in the same direction as you. And that’s OK. Shake what your momma gave ya.
-You are torn between losing weight and loving yourself as you are.
Why should I have to work so hard for what other women were naturally given? I didn’t get fat from eating chocolate cake, you know. I was born to be this way and my image is probably my biggest problem. Sometimes I want to be skinny. Sometimes I am looking real good to myself. Most of the time I want to look like Khloe Kardashian on the cover of Complex magazine (pictured above) but I am slightly unwilling to put in the hours at the gym that it would take to look that good. What ends up happening? I wake up Leann Rhimes and go to bed fat Carnie Wilson. Which I guess balances things out.
-You can’t find anything to wear.
Many women that are physically identified as being overweight (like me) are between sizes 8 and 14, which seems like a pretty big gap, but when you add in heights and body types it makes things a little more interesting. So you know why it’s hard to find a perfectly fitting LBD in a department store? Its because there is a vast percentage of women wearing the exact same size as you buying the exact same dress that you went to the store for.
-You are too sexy.
Speaking of not being able to find anything to wear, you have to dress more modestly than most women because your curves make you “too sexy” for regular clothing. You wear a low cut top and it must be Titty Tuesday. Your jeans fit a little too tight and someone asks you to drop down and get your eagle on.
And to be quite honest, while I do dress like a typical 20-something, I have struggled with feeling uncomfortable in clothing because I realize that my curves will draw a lot of (unwanted) sexual attention.
-You become just an object.
With any stereotype you will get idiots assuming that because you are this or that you will be willing to do anything they want. So naturally these idiots assume that because you are overweight you are desperate for attention or more sexually adventurous. I wish these men would assume that I want them to f*ck off.
-Fat Shamers are your biggest motivation.
You wear what you want and what makes you feel good. Apparently, that’s a crime judging by how many stares and head shakes you get throughout your day. Which is fine. Its the only time you won’t have to work hard for an audience so keep doing you, boo.
-You cringe when you hear the word fat.
About four times a week I am in close quarters with someone substantially smaller than me. At some point during our interaction, either looking in a mirror or at a photo of themselves they have the gall to say, “OMG. I am So. Fat.” To which I respond with no words but with this facial expression:
-Skinny people want to work out with you.
I don’t know if they have a club and meet every week where they plan to intervene on the “fat” people in their lives but NO, skinny people, I do not want to work out with you. In some cases, I actually have a better stamina than you do and you would possibly slow me down. Worst case scenario, I am the DUFF and you are using me to have an excuse to flirt with juiceheads by the weight machines.
-You have a hard time with those physical identifiers on websites.
It usually has options like: Petite, Athletic, Average, Bigger than Fat Bastard. I think there’s some room for another option in there, don’t you?
And then what’s worse is that Curvy, Full-Figured, Voluptuous, Womanly and A Few Extra Pounds all translate to…ding-ding-ding, you guessed it! FAT.
-You have public eating habits and private eating habits.
When out with mixed company/strangers/a bunch of skinny bitches you look at the menu and mentally order that double cheeseburger with bacon, garlic fries or Oreo cookie milkshake. But what do you end up ordering out loud? The house salad.
To me this isn’t because we are ashamed to eat. I think its because we want to avoid the bulged eyes and comments like, “aren’t you trying to lose weight?” while out with friends. I’ve experienced this myself to the point that I’m like:
-People ask you if you’re pregnant.
I think this has only happened to me once but it still happens to many others. Just some sage advice from someone dumb enough to have asked a non-pregnant woman if they were expecting–never bring it up. Do not acknowledge the belly. It is invisible to you until otherwise proven fertilized.
I have nothing to hide so I’ll use myself for reference here. I am a natural born female, nearly 24 years old. I am five feet five inches tall and as of this morning I weigh 197 lbs. The reaction I usually get to this truth is, “Oh my gosh, I would NOT have guessed you weighed that much.” Which is another way of them telling me that I don’t look as fat as I am. There are a few things wrong with that response.
First, most people are not good at guessing weight. I could have told them I weighed 153 pounds and as long as it wasn’t close to their weight I’m sure they would have believed me which makes their guesses of how much I weigh completely irrelevant.
Secondly, I am not sure why these people believe that my weight defines my physique. As many know muscle weighs more than fat which means that Channing Tatum, for example, who is currently all muscle freshly off of his role in Magic Mike XXL, might weigh more than Jimmy Kimmel, who is adorable but slightly soft looking. If I had a big Nicki booty I’d probably be able to add another ten pounds at least to my overall weight (provided that my butt was muscle-made).
Finally, with as much modesty as I can maintain, I will readily admit that I have more sex appeal than most of the women I know. Maybe it comes with the extra pounds.
I believe that like age is just a number so is weight. What determines your physical fitness has much more to do with your lifestyle, energy, confidence and capability.
So what do I think it should mean to be overweight? I define overweightness as physically being a prisoner in your own body; reaching a point where you are no longer physically capable of doing your normal, daily activities; being at a weight which negatively affects your health; and/or being in a physical state which detrimentally affects how you feel about yourself. And honestly, you don’t have to be “over” weight to experience these things. Many thin women experience just as much hate and insecurity as us fuller women do based on their physique.
At the end of the day we should all attempt to cherish our bodies. My good friend once said, “respect your living quarters.” Aren’t our bodies our only consistent home? Don’t we try to fill our homes with things that make us happy and comfortable? We should do the same in our own skin. If that is a problem to someone else, oh well. Most people will never know what it’s like to be in your body the way you do with the exception of your children. And what they know they can’t even remember.
Us “overweight” women are in the majority, so we’ve got to be doing something right.
A question I’d like to leave you with: does she look overweight to you?