Because I don’t know what I’m doing with my life I thought I’d be the perfect person to write an instructional blog post on the do’s and don’ts of Tindering.
Rule #1: Don’t be a Catfish.
This pretty much goes for any social media platform. Nev Schulman and Max Joseph have made it a lot harder to get away with now, anyway.
Rule #2: Show and Tell Etiquette
No close ups, scenery shots, food porn or obscure face and body photos. That’s what moments are for.
Slight retouching is acceptable but there is a fine line between erasing a blemish and giving yourself Kylie Jenner lips.
Avoid only group photos. Why should be pretty obvious but its misleading.
Tinder is highly shallow, but its burden we all must bear.
Limit the amount of selfies you post. Out of the 5 or 6 allotted photos post only one or two maximum.
Try to show who you are in your photos. If you are really active and fit include a gym pic or an epic rock climbing photo. Pictures are worth a thousand words after all.
Less is not more, put some clothes on.
If seeking any kind of purely physical relationship then this doesn’t really apply to you. But if looking to meet a somewhat decent non-pervy douchebag then don’t post half naked photos. Not on your profile. Not on your moments. Not on your IG, Snapchat or anywhere else.
FYI: I have screenshots of all unsolicited dick pics and I will use them against you in the court of law.
There are only 150 characters available in your bio for a reason. Don’t write your whole life story, just a few key points will suffice, like, “Hi, I’m new to the Big Apple. Looking to make friends and see where it goes.”
Also, I don’t know if guys know this but like 79% of male Tinder profiles include some kind of Anchorman reference. Its getting old, boys.
Were our u? Your not their yet? K.
Please for Kanye’s the love of Kanye, activate spellcheck on your incredibly smart phone! There are many people out there who don’t care about the use of proper grammar and spelling, but obviously as a blogger this is something I find peeving.
Rule #3: Matches for Fire
Don’t swipe right on everybody. Some people are freaks and creeps. Others just take it too seriously. Try to exercise a little swipe-judgment.
Also, there’s got to be a better way for all you foot fetish folks to meet. Like a convention for all of you or a secret handshake (hokey pokey, perhaps?) for identification. Is Tinder the new Craigslist personals now? I respect your honesty, but still.
You should’t have to message each other back and forth for long to know if there’s an interest in a date or not. A few days at most should do it.
This should be common sense but do not send money, give out your address or anything dumb like that.
Be open. You’re on Tinder, not E-Harmony. Don’t go looking for love in the wrong places.